I suppose if you had to stick a label on me one way or the other, I guess you’d call me a runner.
I’m more of a runner than the average person, sure, but most days I don’t really feel like that’s how I’d describe myself. Still, if it’s a question of being a runner or not, I guess I fall into the runner category.
Why does any of this matter?
It doesn’t really, other than I find when I run it tends to give me perspective on things.
And today – after completing a 6km run on my journey towards a half-marathon – I got a bit more perspective. I say ‘after’ my run, because during my run I spent most of it trying to talk myself into just finishing the damn thing.
I felt great at 2.5k, getting through 3 was ok, and then all of a sudden it just became a chore. That’s no surprise – most of my runs go that way – where something quickly changes and it becomes much more of a mental struggle than physical. Anyway, I struggled through and met my goal of a 6k run today. As I started my cooldown walk mad and frustrated and beating myself up for letting a good feeling run turn to crap, I caught myself and realized that I DID, in fact, accomplish something: I am now closer to running 10k than I am to running 0k!
I know 10k is not my goal – that would be 13.1 miles (or essentially 21.1k) – but running 10k to me has always been a milestone. And now I’m closer to that, than not. And that feels good!
I started running again after almost 10 years of not, and after about 10 years of constant running prior to that: 5 marathons, countless halfs, and several 10 mile runs. All of that left me burnt out. Then my most recent 10 years of not running (despite a few attempts to get back at it) left me pudgy and lethargic.
Then one day, one of my daughters asked if I’d run a half-marathon with her. I immediately said yes, then immediately thought: what the hell have I done! I’m nowhere near ready for this! Fortunately, I have lots of time to train and figured having a goal and a new running partner would be great motivation.
A few weeks ago I struggled to run 1k, but now I’ve worked my way up to 6k. I know I have a long way to go, and I still feel like a shadow of my former running self, but I’m getting out the door. I can still come up with more excuses not to run than reasons to do it, but I’m trying. And when I step back a half-step and look at what I’ve accomplished over the past few weeks, I realized I AM doing it. I AM getting there. Slowly. But Steadily.
I know it’s probably cliche or hokey to view running as a metaphor for life in general, but so what. There’s a lot of negativity ‘out there’, and for some of us probably a lot more negativity inside our brains, but it’s critical that we pause every now and then to look at what we’ve done. Celebrate those little milestones! Enjoy the moments of satisfaction! Keep pushing yourself, but not at the expense of realizing how far you’ve come.
Too much time and effort is spent focusing on the end goal, the destination, the prize. But today, I’m celebrating and recognizing where I am right now. Closer to 10k than 0k. Still far from 13.1 miles, but getting closer every day. Bit by bit, run by run, I’ll get there. I may not be as fast or as relaxed running as I once was, but I’m determined. And this time, I’m going to enjoy the journey and be proud of the little things.
After all, there’s way more little things to celebrate and recognize than there are big things. Race day is one day. Training is every day. As the great Gord Downie said, “there’s no dress rehearsal, this is our life”. Enjoy it. Especially the little milestones. You can do this.